The jury is out on Creative Writing courses. The theory goes that writing can’t be taught. You either come out of the womb as a writer or don’t. So, when I went back to university to do a Master’s in Creative Writing, it’s fair to say that I had doubts.
As I walked in on my first day, my mind was spinning. How do you spell mischievous? I should have finished Moby Dick. What if I’m the only person in the class who didn’t come out the womb as a writer?
One by one, wide-eyed students sheepishly entered the room. We awkwardly introduced ourselves and announced how nervous we felt. (This wasn’t business school after all – we were allowed to show our vulnerabilities.
The Professor waltzed in and dumped his satchel on the desk. I opened my notebook and got my pen ready for the first note…
“If you don’t have a day job, get a day job because there is no money in writing,”
So there, on the top line of my new notebook, my first lesson:
Get a day job.
He then instructed our first task; to write a landscape like Hemingway. After 20 minutes of furious tapping and the odd sigh, we were asked to share what we had written.
This was the opportunity to suss out the talent in the room.
That’s the thing with creative types; they’re the worst. Salespeople get a bad reputation for being competitive, but have you ever been to the opening night of an art show? Other artists will come out of their caves to check out their fellow artists. Sure, they’re interested in the art, but really, they want to see how many dots are next to each painting. There is a common thought throughout the creative world, and it is this:
I hope they do well, just not as well as me. Maybe I’m writing this after binge-watching Succession, but there is truth in it.
Is there any truth though, that writing can’t be taught?
Well, there will be never be a right or wrong answer to this, but one thing was clear after my first lesson, I’m going need more than 20 minutes to write a landscape like Hemingway…
THE QUACK 