“Honey, it’s 2022 we didn’t want to assume what the situation was!” said the drag queen into the mic. Dad had just told Essa Noche that his daughter was treating him to his Father’s Day brunch.
We were the only father-daughter table there. I guess other daughters thought an Italian restaurant would be more fitting for the occasion.
I’d never watched Drag Race or been to a drag brunch, so I wasn’t aware of the workings of these things. I thought it would be a comedy show, so you can imagine my surprise when the first drag queen started miming and dirty dancing to Bad Romance whilst other diners stuffed dollars into their bra.
It was whilst a drag twerked in a pink thong behind my Dad’s head that I was thankful for the kind of Dad I had.
He’s never been the type to do DIY on his Sundays. Be home at 6pm, or be happy with a pair of slippers for Christmas. Dad is an advertising bloke who wears thick-framed glasses and pop-coloured shirts, and whenever he has a captive audience, he performs Wooden Heart. He has a saying, “Awareness!” which was said often enough that for his 60th, my brother and I got the word carved into plaques, which we then hung in his Soho locals – there is still one in The Toucan, I believe.
After finishing our food and stuffing multiple notes in various garments, we left our Father’s Day Brunch and headed to the nearest bar.
“Well, that wasn’t your average Father’s Day!” he said, laughing, then took a gulp of his Tanqueray and tonic.
“True,” I replied, “but you’re not the average father.”
THE QUACK 
One response to “THE TIME I ACCIDENTALLY TOOK DAD TO A DRAG BRUNCH.”
[…] As you may have read in this post – for his 60th my brothers and I got the slogan carved into gold plaques and hid them in his favourite London pubs; The Dog and Duck, The Wheatsheaf, and The Toucan. […]
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