It’s a Saturday night in 2005 and I Predict a Riot is being blasted out of Joe’s bedroom. A cloud of Lynx creeps out from under his door like dried ice in Eurovision. He and his friend Oli emerge an hour later in their Abercrombie and Fitch shirts and low-rise chinos. They’re ready to party.
It was never much of a riot. For starters, my mum would be driving them to their destination with me (the little sister), in the car as well. As they were only 16 without ID, this destination would often be a girl’s house in Berkshire, likely named ‘Hattie’ or ‘Lottie.’ They would get out of the car with their box of blue WKDs, only to be picked up a few hours later with stories of ‘banter’ and ‘fit girls’.
A common mistake people make is to assume that if you have brothers you have access to a pool of boys to date. This probably is the case for some, but not for me.
The only time I have come close to dating one of my brother’s friends was when I was 10. A small boy named Ethan took a liking to me. I knew this when he changed his ice cream choice to a Twister when he saw that I chose a Twister. A few months later he texts me saying, ‘You’re a thing of the past’. It was my first taste of rejection.
After that, I decided not to involve myself with my brother’s friends, so whenever a group of boys would pile into the kitchen, I would retreat to my bedroom with my Zen Player and Paramore.
It was when I was 14 and my friend Fran came over that I was forced to interact with the boys in my house. She wanted us to join in with their games of Halo and football, (which I thought was odd because she hated football). Although I found this extremely uncomfortable, it did mean I could spend time with Aaron, a friend of Joe’s who had a Mcfly vibe about him.
For Joe’s 16th birthday, we went to Centre Parcs. He brought a couple of friends, including Aaron, and I brought Fran. We followed the boys around like flies to fruit.
One day, we all went quad biking. I thought this could be the time to show off to Aaron my action-girl-side, like Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels.
It wasn’t as cool as I pictured in my head. They put us in baggy blue onesies and stuck fat, heavy helmets on our heads. Then, we were ordered to follow the instructor in a line through the woodlands. Fran giggled as she sped up and slowed down near Aaron. Joe was swirling in and out, and Oli was badgering the instructor for us to go faster.
I, meanwhile, was far too concerned about keeping my vehicle straight because quad biking wasn’t as easy as I had thought. Despite my concentration, I managed to lose control, swerved away from the group and nearly nose-dived off a ledge. I jumped off the bike and fell on my butt in front of everyone – including Aaron.
Not so Cameron Diaz after all.
And so yes, brothers do provide a pool of boys… but that doesn’t necessarily mean they turn into dates.
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