I’m writing this on my new chair which I assembled myself. (Applause). It has nothing to do with this blog, I just achieved something which nobody saw so I am recording it here.
Today’s blog is about cinema.
Do you remember the lockdown when we thought cinema could be gone forever? The idea of ever sitting in a windowless room with strangers for hours was insane. And with the streaming services developing, cinema was appearing to curl up and die before our eyes.
A world without cinema is a scary thought. What would you do for a second date? How do you watch any musicals or sci-fi films? How would you kill a rainy Sunday afternoon? It’s a strange thing humans do, but we like to experience things together, even if we’re all strangers.
And then, No Time to Die came out. Then Top Gun: Maverick. And now Barbenheimer….
I went to see Barbie on Saturday. I probably should have gone to see Oppenheimer first as that’s what sophisticated people do, but Poetry Ed had invited me to Barbie, so that’s just how it went. And before you ask, no, I didn’t do Barbenheimer, because I believe a film deserves a day of its own. And to have the atomic bomb and a pink beach party in the same 12 hours, was too much of a mixed wash for me.
So, Ed and I went to see the 19:40 showing at the Curzon. We had booked our seats a couple of days beforehand, and good job because the screen was sold out. As the adverts rolled, we were asked what drinks and food we would like to order.
I am not too old to handle change, but why are we doing this?
A couple of weeks ago I went to Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny with Trevor (who is from Generation X). He couldn’t hide his excitement that we could order food from our seats. To the point that when the waiter came up the stairs with our popcorn I had to warn him to “play it cool.”
I, however, do not appreciate this change. It was part of the magic, watching the cardboard box being plunged into the mountain of popcorn, and then trying to carry the warm box into the screening room without dropping a piece.
It’s also a tricky process that leaves plenty of room for error.
At Barbie, I ordered a tonic water whilst Ed ordered a double neat whiskey, (he wasn’t having a good week). What turned up though was a whiskey and tonic. Not the end of the world, but it wouldn’t have happened the old fashioned way. And then, just before the film started a waiter tipped a tray of drinks onto a woman in a pink dress, instantly making her….Wet Barbie.
And whilst we’re on this topic, let me rant about the food situation. Like I said, I can deal with change but popcorn + cinema has been a thing since the Great Depression. It was cheap and easy to make, and people love a snack that goes on and on and on. It worked perfectly then, it works perfectly now.
So, why? Why? Why are we introducing pizza? You can practically have a three-course meal whilst sitting there. If we’re not careful we’ll see Gordon Ramsay doing a collaboration with The Odeon. Oh Lordy. I hope not.
My main issue is that you don’t want to think about what you are eating whilst concentrating on a film. That’s why popcorn works. Enough said.
Back to Barbie.
Poetry Ed and I did our usual post- film critique session in a pub, as if we were Kermode and Mayo themselves. We both agreed that it is one the best comedies we have seen for a while. Ed gave it a 3/5. I went for a 3.5/5. We also commented on how good it was that every seat was full. (Even if the date next to me couldn’t stop kissing).
And for this week it’s been hard to find anyone who hasn’t been involved in the Barbenheimer experience, proving that cinema is very much alive and kicking.
A cute scene from Cinema Paradiso.
THE QUACK 