Latest Quacks
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THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL PROM.
The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys…
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FINDING MY TRUE COLOURS AT THE RUGBY.
I then remembered it wasn’t football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face…
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THE GREAT BRITISH BIRTHDAY
“STOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!” We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese.
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MY RETURN TO HINGE.
I was biting into my vegetable kebab when I received a message from the Hinge bloke. I read the top line and rolled my eyes…
Hello. I’m Mary Newnham, a London-based author. I write women’s fiction comedy books. The Quack is a personal blog about writing, dating, travelling and friendship. Click here to know more.
‘AMY ELMAN DOESN’T FEEL SEXY’ JANUARY 2026
Amy Elman’s To Do List:
– Start wedding planning
– Buy lingerie
– Have sex again
Amy has her entire life planned out: marry her fiancé Josh, move out of their London flat and live happily ever after in the countryside. There’s just one problem – Amy and Josh haven’t had sex in 180 days. She’s counted. So when Josh’s family decide to throw them a surprise wedding, Amy scrambles to cross everything off her to-do list… including Josh. With the help of a glass of red wine (or two), Amy steps out of her star-patterned pyjamas and into a world of too-tight lingerie and sex-positive affirmations. As the big day approaches, will Amy’s luck finally turn around? Will her and Josh be one of those couples who just never have sex? Or will she start to realise that love isn’t something that can be checked off a list so easily?
Readers have fallen in love with Amy Elman Doesn’t Feel Sexy:
‘This book was hilarious, chaotic, and ultimately deeply satisfying’ Reader review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
‘I loved getting to know Amy and see her grow throughout the story’ Reader review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
‘I absolutely loved this book… It’s hilarious and very easy to read’ Reader review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
‘A funny, heartwarming book, that made me laugh out loud’ Reader review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Coming out January 22nd 2026
‘THIS ISN’T HAPPINESS’ (GERMAN TRANSLATION) OUT NOW
Amy und Josh sind seit zehn Jahren ein Paar, man hat sich gut eingerichtet, alles läuft prima. So prima, dass die eigentlich geplante Hochzeit immer wieder verschoben wird, und das schon seit Jahren. Als Josh‘ Eltern der Geduldsfaden reißt und sie kurzerhand einen Trautermin festlegen, kann Amy eine unangenehme Wahrheit nicht länger verdrängen: Ihr Liebesleben ist komplett erlahmt. Es knistert nicht mehr, Josh kuschelt lieber mit seinem Seitenschläferkissen als mit ihr, und sie selbst findet Astronomie-Podcasts mittlerweile überraschend sinnlich. Wie konnte das passieren? In ihrem Bestreben, der Beziehung neuen Schwung zu verleihen, greift sie zu immer extremeren Maßnahmen
THE GRAM
THE QUACK 