THE QUACK

Facepalm Moments

ANOTHER ONE OF MUM’S PARTIES

September 23, 2026

Latest Quacks

AMSTERDAM: A FRIENDSHIP TEST

August 8, 2022

When Hermione opened her egg sandwich on the Eurostar, I was reminded of why I don’t do group holidays.
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THAT TIME I KICKED A BOY

August 1, 2022

Now, there are many life skills I picked up when growing up with brothers, one being that, the quickest way to solve a dispute is to physically attack your opponent.
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LESSON 4: GET OVER YOURSELF

July 25, 2022

We don’t help ourselves either, especially when we’re in our roll neck jumpers and jotting things down in our Moleskins notebooks.
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DATING APPS: THE DEATH OF THE MEET CUTE.

July 18, 2022

…we’ve resorted to picking our soul mates in the same way we would get a table on eBay…
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BOOKS

Amy Elman’s To Do List:
– Start wedding planning
– Buy lingerie
– Have sex again

Amy has her entire life planned out: marry her fiancé Josh, move out of their London flat and live happily ever after in the countryside. There’s just one problem – Amy and Josh haven’t had sex in 180 days. She’s counted. So when Josh’s family decide to throw them a surprise wedding, Amy scrambles to cross everything off her to-do list… including Josh. With the help of a glass of red wine (or two), Amy steps out of her star-patterned pyjamas and into a world of too-tight lingerie and sex-positive affirmations. As the big day approaches, will Amy’s luck finally turn around? Will her and Josh be one of those couples who just never have sex? Or will she start to realise that love isn’t something that can be checked off a list so easily?

‘This book was hilarious, chaotic, and ultimately deeply satisfying’ Reader review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ORDER HERE

Two unlikely housemates. Two tragic dating lives. One mission to try and find love…

Maddie didn’t expect to find herself single at the age of 34 after being dumped by her boyfriend so he can ‘find himself’… but here she is. Semi-homeless and heartbroken, she is on a mission to find ‘the one’, no matter how many awful dates it takes.

Life is going exactly to plan for Violet. She lives in a beautiful flat in Notting Hill, is working her dream job as a vet, and is saving herself for marriage. She’s also been obsessively waiting for the man in her church to confess his love to her. (It’ll happen any day now…)

When Maddie and Violet catch up at an old friend’s wedding and Violet offers Maddie her spare room, Maddie jumps at the chance.

United by their quest to find their soulmate, will Maddie and Violet survive the bad dates life throws at them, and finally get lucky in love?

PREORDER HERE